TotTP Episode 083 – Cum on Your Decolletage



This week, Daniel is joined by Emily from The Story Behind Podcast. After a short discussion about the end times and Christian fear mongering, Daniel goes right into it with a very compelling question from Jerry from the Bad Cop Bad Cop Show. Jerry wants to know what Emily has done to compete with the outgoing Kinky Cassie. Emily does hint that her college years were a little outrageous. But, alas, she has nothing for Jerry to beat off to in the wee hours of the morning. Daniel fawns over Emily’s voice and how much of a chub that it gives him.

First dates can be hard. Fortunately, someone made a list of some great first date questions. They aren’t that good though. They break some awkward barriers of first date conversation. Such questions on places to travel, who your friends are, cat person or dog person, and family dynamics among some things. Some of these questions are fine, but if you ask them in a weird way, they can come off as creepy or rapey.

Faith update: Emily wants to know how things are going with Faith. What’s the news? In general, Daniel has given up on her completely. After killing George Michael, Emily has decided that songs that she sends Daniel kills the artist. Looks like the plan to kill Kanye and Bieber is now in play.

Through many rabbit holes of Fitbit, hobo wines, and breast milk, Emily takes over and sends the show into a break.

Daniel gets career advice at work from the person handling the 401(k). She thinks that radio is dying and Daniel should become a financial adviser.

The ages of video rental stores and VHS porn is discussed which. And then, Emily gets super dirty. She brings up a story about a vibrator that monitors their partners. This company is being sued for being a little too NSAish with their data collection. But, Emily gets kinky talking about breasts and tightened vocabulary. She still won’t divulge her college escapades.

Daniel finally pops the question he’s been dying to know: Will Emily be his podcast wife? What kind of dynamic would be involved in this relationship? How would it be parallel to her actual marriage?

People suck. That is a fact of life. Emily is especially sensitive to this, especially after her experiences working directly with customers. It is also a sad fact that people in general are just selfish and stupid. And some people just need to shut the fuck up. But, it makes trolling that much funner and easier.

Check out more from Emily at the Story Behind Podcast.

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