Episode 069 – The Feeling of Slut in the Morning
The heartless, the soulless, the not-caring-for-anybody Daniel and the schizophrenic Cassie are back; and right out of the gate we touch upon a topic that has beaten worse than a raped and abused stepchild: Fat chicks.
What is Cassie’s deal with Fat Chicks anyway? And since every opinion Cassie has on the podcast becomes Daniel’s opinion, what is his deal with Fat Chicks? Ya’ll fat chicks need to calm the fuck down. Everyone is attracted to what they are attracted to. Some people like more rolls, while others would rather not have a significant other with a gut. It’s simple biology. Everyone is good in their own way.
Daniel and Cassie’s discussion with a triggered individual, causes them to dive deep into the archives to revisit Cassie’s stance (not Daniel’s!) on Fat Culture. Furthermore, opinion shaming is just as bad if not worse than fat shaming. Besides, Cassie doesn’t spend her time running around, slapping fat chicks across the face. If there is one silver lining for all the fat chicks out there, Daniel will fuck any woman 18 and over. So bring on your love handles, ‘cause Daniel will gladly hold onto them while he takes you to pound town. This is, by the way, the last time they will touch on this topic; so anymore inquires on the fact will be directed elsewhere.
What could be worse than fat shaming and opinion shaming combined? How about, using a handicap stall at a fast food joint to get high? I’d say that one takes the cake. Here’s some words of advice to paranoid tweekers: If you’re afraid of drawing attention to yourself, don’t use the handicap stall if you’re not, in fact, handicapped.
Daniel has a situation at work with Faith that leaves him thinking Cassie may have been correct in calling her “garbage human being.” He tries to explain a good coffee cup is like a cast iron skillet, you give it a good rinse after each usage to season it, but you only wash it every once in awhile. Unfortunately, Faith does not seem to understand this concept, or the concept of not touching things that do not belong to you. Speaking of touching things, could Faith be warming up to the idea of putting her lips around Daniel’s dick? And if so, is Daniel be cooling down to the idea of Faith?
From Daniel’s work week, listeners are taught a few life lessons: $100 Hawaiian shirts should be burned, and last, and most important of all, Don’t fucking mess with other people’s coffee cups. There may be a special place in hell for people who fuck with coffee cups.
Thanksgiving! By the time this episode airs, everyone will be wiping the gravy off their shirts. However, it is always good to show thanks no matter the day and the Toe on the Trigger Podcast would like to thank all the various listeners out there, the outspoken and the quiet ones. Cassie is thankful for co-hosts of the past who unintentionally fucked Daniel over, alleviating any show responsibility from her. She is no longer plagued with having to come up with show prep and instead can spring last minute stories in the middle of the show.
Daniel is left to find topics to discuss such as, articles where 13 sex-crazed men talk about their favorite places to ejaculate on a woman. People who have listened to past episodes are waiting ever so patiently through the normal, boobs, ass, lips, pussy comments, until they get to the guy who would probably send Cassie a cup full of cum: the dude who wants to jizz in a woman’s hair. Cassie decides it is a good time to clear the air, because while she may not prefer to shampoo her hair with cum, she does enjoy the morning-post-sex-slutty feeling, including crunchy hair. As always, the topic turns into a tangent on casual sex contracts everyone should have, because catching feelings is a big no-no that needs to be discussed beforehand.
Hey guys! It is time to have the talk about female masturbation. A few questions; why do girls get awkward or embarrassed talking about it? I have come into contact with girls around 18, who have never masturbated. Ever. And they become horrified to find out I started masturbating around 11. Some girls don’t know what a clit is or the different ways to masturbate. I’ve heard some girls are waiting until they have sex, expecting the guy to just know everything. Why is it still taboo to talk about? Is there an added pressure for lovers who are with someone who has never masturbated?
After Daniel gives Dwight Schrute responses, Cassie gets down to the facts of the matter and explains why it is understandable many women have not masturbated and are uninformed about their bodies. Cassie brings in her own experience with masturbation, (by the way she was 9 when she first discovered her body, and 10 when she started locking windows and doors to watch porn from sex.com) and coming across people who didn’t want to use tampons ‘cause they might get penetrated. Daniel started masturbating at age 5, so it turns out the sex fiends may not be the best people to ask this question to.
Reminder to everyone to tag #kinkycassie or #baggiefullofcocksand to let the Cum Come Through. Daniel will open a PO Box if he gets enough people to hashtag for people to send their cum to pour in Cassie’s hair.
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