TotTP Episode 066 – I Don’t Fuck With Scarves

TotTP Episode 066 – I Don’t Fuck With Scarves


 

 


Daniel is again plagued by girls, girls, girls; and the soap opera of Daniel’s love life continues! Before we get into things, question for listener: is it considered semi-stalking to stick your ear out the door to listen for a female to walk of her office down the hall? (I thought so). Daniel has not given up on the female in his life he has nicknamed “Amanda.” He is still in hopes that one day he can catch her leaving her office. Unfortunately, Daniel got cock-blocked by coffee, ya know that afternoon feeling when coffee grounds knock on your sphincter’s door? Needless to say, his little bowel emergency made him just seconds too late. Cassie talks the conversation off on a tangent by musing about what would happen if the bathrooms at Daniel’s work were. sexually integrated. Women better be careful about whipping their vagina’s out around Daniel.

 

hatNext we move onto Faith. Is she worth the fuss? Cassie, of course believes she is in the hole by negative a million points. Daniel is on the fence whether she makes out in the positives, or if her stock has dropped in the realm of bucket three. First, we have to analyze the company one keeps to judge a person’s character. Daniel continues with his stalker ways and looks up Faith on Instagram. The guy that pops up is the most backwards hat wearing, douchebaggiest fuckboy in all of human history. Minus one point for dating a fuckboy. In her spare time, she makes a candy covered poem poster board for her new boyfriend. Minus one point, because if she does art projects like the ones from third grade, she’s too young for you, bro! And remember when Cassie freaked about her not knowing the holy trinity of movies? Her music choices are just as bad. Her and fuckboy went to a concert with Wiz Khalifa, but they didn’t even stay for him. Minus two fucking points for horrible music choice and not sticking to commitments. Daniel may decide he has to just take a step back and be a spectator in her life.

 

More work news comes to light. It appears handsome Daniel is still roaming his office and people are still losing their shit over his change in style. I wonder what this individual would think if they found out what Daniel really thinks of her six day compliment streak and putting him on blast in front of Faith? Daniel is really having bad luck with the ladies, but Cassie digs herself into a hole by mentioning he has a cousin with a vagina . . .Is the law in favor of dating first cousins?

 

Basic BitchPumpkin spice season is overlapping with Peppermint Mocha season, and Cassie had planned on gearing up with her leggings, messy bun, and boots in an attempt to become Starbuck’s first basic bitch of the Christmas season. I know, that leaves a taste almost more bitter than the taste of children in people’s mouths.

 
How soon is too soon to put up Christmas lights? Daniel is hoping his Scrooge-like heart will be melted this year. Cue the holiday movies with a music background while a family happily shoves delicious ham and turkey down their throats. Cassie even suggests getting the #squad back together for the Christmas episode. However, in Grinch like fashion, she shuts down the idea by reminding Daniel that he has no friends.

 
Out of desperation so the show does not completely derail, Daniel brings up an article about a trans man and a trans woman having a kid. The conversation returns to Daniel, because he decides to come out to Cassie live on the show. He can’t hold back his sexuality any longer. He has a thing for a certain Mexican Staple, and he just can’t contain himself anymore.


 

Dear Abby,

 

What do I do about my 34 year old entitled daughter wanting another baby when she can’t take care of her current child? We are forced into enabling her and want to know how to cut her off before our retirement runs out without her taking away our ability to see out grandchild?

 


Cassie’s head may explode with all the morons writing into Dear Abby. whoever said the older folk are better at communicating than millennials are dumb. Both Cassie and Daniel are disgusted by the daughter being ungrateful for parental help. Parents are not money factories. Yes, they bail us out from time to time, it doesn’t mean you should milk the cow to the point smoke is puffing out of the teat. Daniel and Cassie bring their own brush with parental intervention to show why we should all be great full for our parental privilege.


 

 

 

 

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