Episode 065 – Recreational Masturbator
This week Daniel is joined by “Whatever-her-nickname-is-this-week” Cassie. Ghosts of Podcast Past are still continuing to haunt the show, as the TotT podcast can’t seem to shake the topic of cum.
Speaking of past partners, Daniel got invited to New York by a female from his past. Cassie is all over Daniel to take this field trip and explore New York City, because how can you not when someone is offering to foot the bills (less plane ticket)?
Daniel steps out of his comfort zone by attending a social event called “Boo Ball,” hosted by a local radio station at the House of Blues. He learns he is in fact not very social. He talks of the usual suspects at any events, bar, music, pole dancers, but he brings up a sight that floored him. Imagine a soundless room with a DJ and people hipping and hopping. How does this make sense you ask? 3 words- Music. Streaming. Headphones. A novelty or gay as fuck? (gay as fuck, definitely) Cassie is immediately not too keen on the idea, but will she like Daniel’s idea, birthed from this silent rave room? The idea not only solves the problem of booming stereo’s drawing attention to high school parties, but it can also save a person from getting rejected at the club. Or of course getting triggered by a song that objectifies women, because all one has to do is simply remove the headphones. Welcome to the future.
Let’s go to the mall. Because a possible promotion for Daniel (applause) equals the need for new clothes. Cassie and Daniel find formal workwear for him, but he gets a case of the purchase-regret blues. Daniel is whining like a chick who thinks she looks fat in everything-Daniel see’s himself as a swimmer in fabric in his new clothes.(Cassie has to explain he is just used to wearing tight clothes.) However, everyone knows it doesn’t matter what you think personally, all that matters are the perspectives and opinions of other people. New Formal Wear Daniel takes his model look to work and gets a polarity of responses. He gets the normal responses, then he gets the over-the-top response from an over-zealous co-worker who may be mildly retarded. Daniel is learning the consequences of being a sharp dressed man as well as having to take on more responsibilities due to a superior quitting. Who knew workplace shitter conversations was part of the new workload.
One of the news stories brings on a conversation on life sentences. How does one compare scumbags? Are they all created equal? How does one quantify a life sentence? (Daniel wonders if resurrection from a technical death means the person served their life sentence.)
Let’s move onto a lighter topic, a field trip to a local sex shop. How dare they assume their relationship status! Cassie was like Alice in Wonderland, amazed by everything in the sex shop. She has trouble finding a toy, because for Cassie it isn’t about pleasure, just the fact that she needs to get off. She has to masturbate because of an addiction. The struggle is real, people! (We can’t all be 16 forever and spend all day pleasuring ourselves). After settling with a bullet massager from Femme Funn that is easy, powerful, and convenient, Daniel suggests starting a wish list on TotT for Cassie. She could always add to her collection of sex toys and vibrators, while in the process be cured of her ‘ailment’ as Daniel calls it. The sex-crazed TotTlers also review some really good lube as well as some toy cleaner.
My wife wants me to end a 25 year old friendship with a former coworker, whom I am not attracted to, simply because she is threatened by her being a female. What should I do?
First and foremost, Cassie would like to get on record that the wife is a cuntbag. The past few Dear Abby’s have been from people not having the balls to communicate with the people they have issues with. (but to be fair, sometimes talking makes things worse). Daniel is curious why it matters if he isn’t attracted to the person? Daniel goes off into fantasy lane where he is married with kids and a work spouse of his very own, because everyone needs a work spouse.
— ToeOnTheTrigger (@ToeOnTheTrigger) October 31, 2016
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