Episode 064 – Happy Rape Victims
This week, Daniel finds himself suffering from troll karma. All his behavior has finally caught up with him and now people are striking back. Or, he’s just a gigantic pussy.
Girls,Girls, Girls. Because Daniel’s life is a Spanish soap opera. He dishes more about the two women in his life. Actually, more like one and a half. We start with Faith, the hot receptionist at his work; or according to Cassie: the forgettable chick who doesn’t know what Pulp Fiction is. Some information comes to light about this girl, and Daniel is starting to wonder if sticking around is worth it. His strategy may be bleeding into the real world, because he was called out for his flirtatious demeanor at work.
We continue with girl in the same building, but different company (Did we name her Amanda?) Daniel is starting to question whether or not his source in the building who claims she has a live-in boyfriend may have been mistaken. He lays out possible reasons as to why she is being extra smiley, and talkative with him. Hopefully, the reason ends up being she wants the D – boyfriend or no boyfriend. Cassie is reminded of her role as Daniel’s voice of reason when she is tasked with coming up with new strategies or GTFO.
Here is some life advice for Daniel and for other’s: Get on the Exodus Diet. Because being fat makes God angry. He is not a wimpy lover, he is a jealous God. Besides, who needs food when you have God to fill you like you have never been filled before. Daniel shares with Cassie and listener’s a video describing his new diet.
Don’t Daniel and Cassie sound like people you want to worship with? Well, Daniel could be coming to a church near year via worship team. And no he isn’t doing it for the pussy, so don’t even go there. However, is it possible his type of body shape may not be accepted? Who knew someone could be body shamed out of church. Well, if Jesus went through all the trouble to get rock hard abs, the least us fat asses can do is follow the guidelines to being presentable enough to walk through church doors. I mean, everyone is welcome in the house of the Lord, but you may be shoved in the back with your fat sausage rolls hidden by a tarp. Cassie describes an imaginary (well semi-imaginary) worship team and hopefully goes along with whatever point he is trying to make.
After the break, we learn another one of Cassie’s secret fantasies. It involves a dickless man rubbin’ some nub. We also learn way more about the ever-sexual Kinky Cassie, because sex is a perfect topic to followup a story about the worship team.
Gerbilling. Rule #34 of the internet, if it exists, there is porn of it. Let’s be real, there is a porn for everything so let’s just make peace with that every sick, twisted fantasy exists. We can choose to live in la la land with Cassie, but where’s the fun in that? Luckily, Cassie does not like the idea of cocaine covered gerbils clawing through her asshole. It could be possible Cassie does not have any room left in her asshole with all the sharpies, dicks, and random dildos shoved up there. Maybe one day we will see her on the show, Sex Sent Me to the ER. She may choose to break a Guinness world record one day.
Why will guys check out other women’s asses when they are with their girlfriends or wives?
Answer: They are victims of biology. It is hard-wired in their brains to check out other women. And ladies, be real, you check out hot guys as well, celebrities and real life men. We are all humans and can admire their are other attractive people in the world. Here is some advice for guys on how to check out women and creep on human beings properly: Cassie explains to not be an asshole like Daniel and make comments loudly. For example, if a fat girl is on a bench it is probably best to not loudly ask Cassie you wonder what sex with her smells like.
Listeners meet Uncle Daniel. You know that one creepy Uncle that sometimes admires the titties of underage girls. In his defense, there is something in the water making young people look 26.
— ToeOnTheTrigger (@ToeOnTheTrigger) October 24, 2016
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