TotTP Episode 077 – Eddie is My Daddy


 

 


Cassie begins week one of her final shows, and Daniel has many personal questions regarding some of her recent decisions. in lieu of her leaving, Daniel is trying to be social, but is discovering that he is horribly awkward and possibly socially inept.

XHamster is putting on auditions to cast someone in a series of Donald Trump porn parodies over the course of the next four years. Daniel would watch for science, and Cassie is on a porn and sex hiatus. Would you be interested in watching a Donald Trump porn parody. Shoot us a message and let us know.

Obviously no porn discussion would be complete without a discussion on religion. The first order of business is crazy televangelists and rich churchgoers. Daniel and Cassie delve into their childhoods and pull out nuggets from their fundamentalist pasts.

After the break, Daniel and Cassie revisit the topic of pet names during sex; the strangest of which is “Daddy”. What does it mean, is it incestual, is it a sign of dominance? Is it innocent? Our credible friends at Broadly have the answers.


 

Dear Daniel and Cassie,

 

I found out that my girlfriend might be a furry while I was on her computer.
When I asked her if she was, she stormed out of the room and hasn’t talked to me since. What should I do?

 


In the end result, people again need to communicate better. The listener needs to give his girl her space and let her know that he is there for her when she needs to talk.

The conversation changes to the topic of going through your significant other’s computer and the problems that can cause as well as the intricate science of sending nudes.


If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button.

 

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TotTP Episode 073 – Whatchu Know ‘Bout Debauchery?


 

 


Your favorite snarky host is joined once again by “Anything Goes Cassie”. Someone please get this guy an actual co-host. Right, *nudge* am I right? Anyhoo, after some minor confusion Daniel jumps into how they both have joined the New Year, New Me club. Though they discuss the desire to call it quits with cancer sticks, they are both bound to light up after “cigarette warranting activities”. Eddie and Water Girl are brought up, of fucking course. “Fat Shamer Cassie” shares how even she is making an effort to work on her weight this year. What a hypocrite. Wait, no that one checks out.

Daniel and Cassie discuss the different types of queefing, vaginal and anal (the butt one is just farts though). Daniel taunts Cassie about her cavern of a vagina, followed up by welcoming “Snow Tits” to the TotT fan-mily. “Terrible Influence Cassie” gets to live out her goal of corrupting small children. It’s a grand time.

That movie gave us Forrest Whittaker Eye

This week, on “Dog Shit or Nah” the hatred for “Star Wars: Rouge One” is strong with these two. “Plenty O’ Plosives Cassie” goes in depth about how upsetting the film (shudder) is and how entertaining Daniel’s frustration is. All in all, definitely a “dog shit” round. “Moana” was also briefly brought up. According to Daniel and “Lemon Peeling Cassie”, Disney squeezes out another “Nah” rating even if it’s literally a movie about a suicidal chicken.

*Funky fresh news sound blares* Sexy priests, Cum-Dodging Cassie’s worst nightmare of a human and an up-skirt photographer are all covered in this week’s news break. “Throws No Punches Cassie” tells Daniel her logic about how the size and build of a person, can greatly determine their behavior. Because science, man.

“Bud Sex” is a nation sweeping phenomena and “Wants To Watch All The Boys Fuck Each Other Cassie” spills her dirty mind tea all over the studio. Buckle up folks! Daniel pushes “Overly Sensitive Cassie’s” buttons for a hot second and it get’s tense.


 

Dear Abby,

 

I am a straight man who met and fell in love with a transgender girl I’ll call Eve. We dated for almost three years, and they were the happiest of my life. In all that time, we never once had an argument. She said I had given her the strength to come out to her family and begin her transition. I was planning to ask her to marry me. Without any indication that anything was wrong, she dumped me one day and weeks later began dating her friend, another trans girl. I wanted to walk away and take time to heal, but Eve maintained that I was important to her and we could remain friends. For the next few months we tried, but her new girlfriend treated me like I was a threat. While I was emotionally hurting, she seemed to take intense pleasure in showing me how happy they were together. It eventually led to friction, and now my ex thinks I caused it because I was jealous, so she cut off all contact with me. I stood by her when she absolutely needed my support, but when the time came to give a little back, I was abandoned. I’m worried I will never trust anyone again, and I don’t know how to get “myself” back. Can you help?

 

Abandoned in West Virginia

 


“Dear Abby” has “Sentimental Cassie” on her soap box (things get sappy. You have been warned.) and Daniel chimes in with his own smushy experiences. Episode Seventy Three ends on a fluffy cliche note of “balance is everything.”

Now ya’ll know what they know about debauchery.


This week’s podcast:

[Show Name]:

[@TwitterHandle] and [show website]

 

[Twitter Link]

 

 

If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button.

 

Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We’d love to hear from you!

 

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This podcasting business is expensive!

 

 


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TotTP Episode 066 – I Don’t Fuck With Scarves

Everyone gets a latte

TotTP Episode 066 – I Don’t Fuck With Scarves


 

 


Daniel is again plagued by girls, girls, girls; and the soap opera of Daniel’s love life continues! Before we get into things, question for listener: is it considered semi-stalking to stick your ear out the door to listen for a female to walk of her office down the hall? (I thought so). Daniel has not given up on the female in his life he has nicknamed “Amanda.” He is still in hopes that one day he can catch her leaving her office. Unfortunately, Daniel got cock-blocked by coffee, ya know that afternoon feeling when coffee grounds knock on your sphincter’s door? Needless to say, his little bowel emergency made him just seconds too late. Cassie talks the conversation off on a tangent by musing about what would happen if the bathrooms at Daniel’s work were. sexually integrated. Women better be careful about whipping their vagina’s out around Daniel.

 

hatNext we move onto Faith. Is she worth the fuss? Cassie, of course believes she is in the hole by negative a million points. Daniel is on the fence whether she makes out in the positives, or if her stock has dropped in the realm of bucket three. First, we have to analyze the company one keeps to judge a person’s character. Daniel continues with his stalker ways and looks up Faith on Instagram. The guy that pops up is the most backwards hat wearing, douchebaggiest fuckboy in all of human history. Minus one point for dating a fuckboy. In her spare time, she makes a candy covered poem poster board for her new boyfriend. Minus one point, because if she does art projects like the ones from third grade, she’s too young for you, bro! And remember when Cassie freaked about her not knowing the holy trinity of movies? Her music choices are just as bad. Her and fuckboy went to a concert with Wiz Khalifa, but they didn’t even stay for him. Minus two fucking points for horrible music choice and not sticking to commitments. Daniel may decide he has to just take a step back and be a spectator in her life.

 

More work news comes to light. It appears handsome Daniel is still roaming his office and people are still losing their shit over his change in style. I wonder what this individual would think if they found out what Daniel really thinks of her six day compliment streak and putting him on blast in front of Faith? Daniel is really having bad luck with the ladies, but Cassie digs herself into a hole by mentioning he has a cousin with a vagina . . .Is the law in favor of dating first cousins?

 

Basic BitchPumpkin spice season is overlapping with Peppermint Mocha season, and Cassie had planned on gearing up with her leggings, messy bun, and boots in an attempt to become Starbuck’s first basic bitch of the Christmas season. I know, that leaves a taste almost more bitter than the taste of children in people’s mouths.

 
How soon is too soon to put up Christmas lights? Daniel is hoping his Scrooge-like heart will be melted this year. Cue the holiday movies with a music background while a family happily shoves delicious ham and turkey down their throats. Cassie even suggests getting the #squad back together for the Christmas episode. However, in Grinch like fashion, she shuts down the idea by reminding Daniel that he has no friends.

 
Out of desperation so the show does not completely derail, Daniel brings up an article about a trans man and a trans woman having a kid. The conversation returns to Daniel, because he decides to come out to Cassie live on the show. He can’t hold back his sexuality any longer. He has a thing for a certain Mexican Staple, and he just can’t contain himself anymore.


 

Dear Abby,

 

What do I do about my 34 year old entitled daughter wanting another baby when she can’t take care of her current child? We are forced into enabling her and want to know how to cut her off before our retirement runs out without her taking away our ability to see out grandchild?

 


Cassie’s head may explode with all the morons writing into Dear Abby. whoever said the older folk are better at communicating than millennials are dumb. Both Cassie and Daniel are disgusted by the daughter being ungrateful for parental help. Parents are not money factories. Yes, they bail us out from time to time, it doesn’t mean you should milk the cow to the point smoke is puffing out of the teat. Daniel and Cassie bring their own brush with parental intervention to show why we should all be great full for our parental privilege.


 

 

 

 

If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button.

 

Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We’d love to hear from you!

 

Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?

 

Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.

paypal

becomepatron

 

This podcasting business is expensive!

 

 


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TotTP Episode 064 – Happy Rape Victims

Gettin' Ready for that ass

Episode 064 – Happy Rape Victims


 

 


This week, Daniel finds himself suffering from troll karma. All his behavior has finally caught up with him and now people are striking back. Or, he’s just a gigantic pussy.

Girls,Girls, Girls. Because Daniel’s life is a Spanish soap opera. He dishes more about the two women in his life. Actually, more like one and a half. We start with Faith, the hot receptionist at his work; or according to Cassie: the forgettable chick who doesn’t know what Pulp Fiction is. Some information comes to light about this girl, and Daniel is starting to wonder if sticking around is worth it. His strategy may be bleeding into the real world, because he was called out for his flirtatious demeanor at work.

We continue with girl in the same building, but different company (Did we name her Amanda?) Daniel is starting to question whether or not his source in the building who claims she has a live-in boyfriend may have been mistaken. He lays out possible reasons as to why she is being extra smiley, and talkative with him. Hopefully, the reason ends up being she wants the D – boyfriend or no boyfriend. Cassie is reminded of her role as Daniel’s voice of reason when she is tasked with coming up with new strategies or GTFO.


Here is some life advice for Daniel and for other’s: Get on the Exodus Diet. Because being fat makes God angry. He is not a wimpy lover, he is a jealous God. Besides, who needs food when you have God to fill you like you have never been filled before. Daniel shares with Cassie and listener’s a video describing his new diet.

 


I see a fattyDon’t Daniel and Cassie sound like people you want to worship with? Well, Daniel could be coming to a church near year via worship team. And no he isn’t doing it for the pussy, so don’t even go there. However, is it possible his type of body shape may not be accepted? Who knew someone could be body shamed out of church. Well, if Jesus went through all the trouble to get rock hard abs, the least us fat asses can do is follow the guidelines to being presentable enough to walk through church doors. I mean, everyone is welcome in the house of the Lord, but you may be shoved in the back with your fat sausage rolls hidden by a tarp. Cassie describes an imaginary (well semi-imaginary) worship team and hopefully goes along with whatever point he is trying to make.

After the break, we learn another one of Cassie’s secret fantasies. It involves a dickless man rubbin’ some nub. We also learn way more about the ever-sexual Kinky Cassie, because sex is a perfect topic to followup a story about the worship team.

Rule 64Gerbilling. Rule #34 of the internet, if it exists, there is porn of it. Let’s be real, there is a porn for everything so let’s just make peace with that every sick, twisted fantasy exists. We can choose to live in la la land with Cassie, but where’s the fun in that? Luckily, Cassie does not like the idea of cocaine covered gerbils clawing through her asshole. It could be possible Cassie does not have any room left in her asshole with all the sharpies, dicks, and random dildos shoved up there. Maybe one day we will see her on the show, Sex Sent Me to the ER. She may choose to break a Guinness world record one day.

 


 

Dear TotT,

 

Why will guys check out other women’s asses when they are with their girlfriends or wives?

 

Sincerely,

 

Katie

 


 

Answer: They are victims of biology. It is hard-wired in their brains to check out other women. And ladies, be real, you check out hot guys as well, celebrities and real life men. We are all humans and can admire their are other attractive people in the world. Here is some advice for guys on how to check out women and creep on human beings properly: Cassie explains to not be an asshole like Daniel and make comments loudly. For example, if a fat girl is on a bench it is probably best to not loudly ask Cassie you wonder what sex with her smells like.

Listeners meet Uncle Daniel. You know that one creepy Uncle that sometimes admires the titties of underage girls. In his defense, there is something in the water making young people look 26.

 

 

 

 


If you like what you hear on Toe on the Trigger, don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button.

 

Questions, comments, concerns? Maybe even complaints? Leave a comment below, or shoot us an email or even a voicemail. We’d love to hear from you!

 

Wanna Help us out? Feeling a bit generous?

 

Then skip the Salvation Army and help support your favorite misfits.

paypal

becomepatron

 

This podcasting business is expensive!

 

 


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TotTP Episode 035 – The Best Stories Tend To Be True

TotTP Episode 035 -The Best Stories Tend To Be True


 

 


 
In this week’s episode, Daniel has a guest on the show. The one, the only, Chris P. Bacon! Chris, who’s off stage name is Riley, is a local comedian who has graciously volunteered his expertise in the funny things. Daniel and Cassie each share a drinking story and lets just say, it’s a good thing they have put down the Devil’s cum shot.

Daniel grills his guest on how, where, and when he got into the comedy business and Riley gives Daniel some sage advice. The Pail’s of Pussy Strategy makes a comeback as Daniel explains his woman wooing ways. Sir. Bacon is impressed. Outdated websites, miscarriage banter and Daniel’s tear-jerking story about being raped by a woman are just a few things discussed.

If you are in the San Diego area, you can check out the “Laughter for a Cure” event taking place on April 2, 2016 at the Til-Two Club on El Cajon Blvd.

For more information about the Teddy Bear Cancer Foundation, click here to visit their website.

Check out clips of the show here:

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TotTP Episode 018 – John the Stutterer

TotTP Episode 018 – John the Stutterer


 

 


 

Why weren’t we here last week? Well, Mike had a partial midlife crisis. Shit is getting rough for him. Being 30 is not what it’s cracked up to be. After passing out by a dumpster, Mike regains consciousness and continues through life.

Discussions about sketchy horses and just shitty pets in general. Also, impressive camel toes.

Why can’t kids lose anymore? Sometimes losing is good for people, and society refusing to let kids lose is the downfall of society. We weigh in on that.

We go over fucked up videos from within Mike’s phone. Including John the Stutterer, an awkward bloke with a special speech pattern, lookin’ so British.

Finally, what is Mike going to do in the teenage years with his kids?

Check out clips of the show here:

 

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TotTP Episode 017 – Known Mammal Squisher

TotTP Episode 017 – Known Mammal Squisher


 

 


 

Though we’re late, we start without missing a beat. Erik “Shaft” Johnson joins us once more and we start out with . . . The “N” word. It has been decided that we are allowed to use it because of Mike’s brown complexion.

The bug problem at Mike’s house has gone away. And, speaking of bugs, in Mike’s phone, we have some interesting tabs open in Mike’s browser. Including, but not limited to: Crush fetish, or, the fetish with women stepping on animals.

This delves into a discussion on dark browsing of the internet, the days of Limewire and the horrors of dial-up.

Erik’s neighbor is givin’ him a fuckin’ rash. He’s kind of a prick. In fact, we all have pricks in or lives.

Mike tells stories of the shadiest street in our little town.

How old is too old when it comes too fuckin’ older ladies?

Mike picked the fight that he promised, and got naked, as promised. It went . . .well?

Mike’s parenting advice: What if his boy wanted to go to school dressed like a princess?

Check out clips of the show here:

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TotTP Episode 013 – Doin’ the Bambi

TotTP Episode 013 – Doin’ the Bambi


 

 


 

After a postponed episode, Mike divulges the real reason he couldn’t make it to record last night. The truth, he just wasn’t feelin’ it. He was having “Fuck it” moments at work that lead to a downward spiral in his entire psyche. He was having the kind of day that just kind of makes you want to rip out your own colon! Good thing he had his crew to cheer him up, though. They managed to make some content.

Make sure to check out the YouTube video as to what they did instead of the show last night.

Next on the agenda, the man who disemboweled his own girlfriend for saying her husband’s name during sex. What would you do?

Then, on Toe on the Trigger Nightly News, Selfie Madness: People all over the world are dying of dangerous selfies. Including, shooting themselves to show off, being gored by wild animals, and falling off of national monuments. Just goes to show what exactly the world is coming to.Russia

 

 

Next, a Shout out to Lance for throwing in his article about “Pig Play” – The sexual act of exchanging bodily fluids. Followed by Mike’s great porn collection and fantasies – a segment that may have scarred, yet taught Victoria a lot more than she could handle.

In Single Life News: Daniel is alone in the single world as Mike tries once again to live life as an honest man. This is depressing to Daniel who is starting to feel like there may be more in this world than his lonesome little bubble.

Also, we are going to be a part of the Wicked Radio Network . . . Whatever that means, so stay tuned for that.

Check out clips of the show here:

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TotTP Episode 007 – Exes Are Forever

TotTP Episode 007 – Exes are Forever


 

 


 

 

After a lonesome start, Mike joins in the show with his “special” guest, Heather “Nugget” LePage. After inquiry about their current status, Mike explains that Nugget and him are being “friendly” and that after a deep discussion they decided to get each other’s names tattooed on themselves. Thank God for 24 hour tattoo parlors.

 

Daniel has his own awkward, Mikeesque moment. He puts his foot in his mouth thinking that former guest host Samii had the hots for him, only to find that he was sadly mistaken.

In the news: Kids paint colostomy bags to remove the stigma that comes with them.. Man racks up crazy online sex bill on the company credit. Freedom of speech wins again after a kid tweets two words. Christian dies emulating Jesus. Nugget takes a trip to get a pedicure and spews her racism all over us. China explosion. Daniel vents his frustration toward his coworker.

Mike’s single life saga continues. He’s getting dishes done, cooking and all kinds of adult shit. He’s using all the help he can get, including links he finds on Reddit about throw-together meals.

Here clips of the show here:

 

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TotT Episode 001 – Bald Centaur Amputees

TotTP Episode 001 – Bald Centaur Amputees


 

 


 

 

The first episode hurtle has been made, and we’re just now recovering from what Mike unleashed upon us. So, now we continue on to episode – er – 2? Or is it 1? Naming conventions in podcasts are kind of weird. Anyway, this is our second go at it.

In this episode, we delve briefly into a topic we have no business even talking about – The whole NAACP whatever it was; which teaches us to stay far away from current events . . . at least if we’re unprepared. If you make it past that point, Mike goes in depth about his trip to the massage parlor; a trip he had mentioned going on in the first episode. The show is then finished off with some banter about asses and titties; Daniel reveals something he probably shouldn’t about a fellow coworker, and Mike drops a piece of information about . . .

 

Whatever the fuck this thing is.

bald_amputee_centaurs_with_tattoos_55610

Tune in to hear the discussion. Don’t forget to share, like and subscribe.

Listen to individual clips here:

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